You know what’s totally awesome?
Making space for each other. Making space for each other’s experiences, opinions, thoughts, and ideas. I’m all for debate, and honestly, I’m usually the first person to speak up and let someone have it when I feel hurt, offended, angry, or frustrated.
Right now, I am sick of the trans/butch border wars. What are they? Well, Halberstam wrote about the FTM/Butch border wars in Female Masculinity (a must read, in my opinion…I am excited to get my copy autographed when I see Halberstam speak at the U of M in a couple weeks). I feel like the border wars are getting bad again, and I think that there is no simple answer except that we all deserve space and respect. I don’t believe that anyone is to blame–but I do think that some folks treat masculinity like a limited resource, and I don’t beleive that it is. I think that people have been getting frustrated and angry and writing a lot of polarizing things.
I will be clear and honest. I am butch identified. I was assigned female at birth and continue to use the identifier female. I have been reading a lot about people’s opinions on butchness just leading to transitioning to male. Well, I’d like to clearly state my opinion: I do not believe that butch is a stop on the path to male. Suggesting this makes a supposition that:
a) butch is JUST a stop on the way to true masculinity (false)
b) all people who transition to male spend time in the subject position Butch (to assume this is to erase the existence of femme identified trans men)
c) butch is absolutely a valid place to be without any intention of transitioning
d) some people who transition continue to identify as butch which is completely legit–because no one owns butchness except those who occupy it
I am not going to post links and stir drama, I just wanted to make my position clear. I love my butch life (finally) and I embrace all butch sisters and brothers who want to occupy this space with me.
nome
June 11, 2010 at 7:09 pm
Beautifully put. It seems like such a simple concept, and yet people can’t let it go.
bee listy
June 11, 2010 at 7:11 pm
Thanks. I wish we could just be at peace and support each other, you know?
remy
June 12, 2010 at 5:48 pm
thank you. i’m upset i’ll be missing halberstam because this is what i want to be chewing on for grad research and writing!
your simple answer is pretty close to all i can ever muster (emphasis on self-identity, respect, listening), and i can definitely see it working often enough on certain micro levels. meaning that, in theory, you and i could find ourselves at the table with a handful or two of other tc queers representing just as many other so-called “female masculinities,” and i think we could all be happy, supportive, and hilarious. i don’t feel as though my gender is at war with yours, or vice versa.
this brings up questions of community and location. i think the twin cities are pretty intriguing… but that’s a thread too long for a comment! two more things are somewhat more important:
1. have you seen the experimental film “against a trans narrative” by jules rosskam? the u of m has it now, and you or someone else should get it if you haven’t! it works with all sorts of issues around trans masculine and lesbian identities and feminism and community. whew. it blows me away, for real.
2. forgetting which wise tranny passed it on to me, the solution to scrambling for the last piece of masculinity pie is not to fight, but to make more pie.
yum.
bee listy
June 12, 2010 at 7:10 pm
Remy, I love the idea of making lots more pie! Glorious.
Harrison
June 14, 2010 at 10:31 pm
I’ve been posting along these lines lately, so I worry that I’ve offended you. I also do not think butch is necessarily a stop on the road to male. But I need to question whether that might be the case for me.
bee listy
June 15, 2010 at 2:54 am
It’s not you!!! Writing in your own blog about your own journey, questions, and experiences is AWESOME. You’re part of the community of blogging folks that I really appreciate and respect. The original post that got me all wound up was actually this: http://butchliving.blogspot.com/2010/06/butches.html
Harrison T.B.
June 15, 2010 at 3:55 pm
Ohhhh. 1) thank you for the compliment. i appreciate it. 2) That also makes me wound up. Even though I think that being concerned about “butch flight” and wondering what it means that so many more young men feel comfortable transitioning, I think that phrasing one’s thoughts in a way that says that guys are transitioning because they can and it’s trendy and cool ends up being an invalidation and a policing of others. Invalidating because it says that those transmen are doing something just to be cool (I worry that I feel butch just to be cool). Policing because it says, “Hey, don’t think about transitioning. That’s not what you are. Your dissatisfaction with your body, the way you are read…it’s something you should live with, embrace!” And some people can’t. But you knew that.
nome
June 15, 2010 at 6:09 am
Ech, ya, I’m glad someone wrote a response to that post. I found that post upsetting on soooo many different levels. Oy.
Jessica Annabelle
June 18, 2010 at 9:57 pm
thanks for this, a lot.
pulling out how the “butch is (only and universally) a stop on the way to male” notion is really exclusive of butch identified people (including butch identified trans men), femme identified trans men, and all kinds of other people with different identities that embody or play with masculinity was helpful to me.
Kyle
June 25, 2010 at 11:00 pm
ahhhhh yes.. border wars.. I hadn’t heard that term before but it’s such a great description. To paraphrase you and others, there’s more than enough damned pie. Harrison mentioned posting about related topics lately and so have I. In one post I said something to the effect that my choice of identity doesn’t take anything away from yours or anyone else’s. We are quite well schooled in defining ourselves in comparison to others, though. I am this as opposed to what that person is, or I’m more of this than they are. That’s a shortcut, and though it can be useful to compare and contrast, it also helps set up rivalries and border wars.
I’ve gotten that rap before the ‘butch as a pre-transition identity’. A friend who is a trans guy asked his girlfriend if I was a ‘baby-trans’ since I enjoy using male pronouns and promote a male image online. The answer is ‘no’, I appreciate my female body and all it’s capable of, even if I identify as genderqueer and sometimes experience dysphoria through my male identity.
I’ve gotten a bit off track there, but the point is, why does it have to be us vs. them? Plenty of pie, people, plenty of pie.
mmmm… pie.
bee listy
June 26, 2010 at 1:08 am
I can’t take any credit for the term “border wars”– I don’t know if it was Dr. J. Jack Halberstam who coined that, or if it came from somewhere else (damn, i should have asked him last night when i saw him lecture at the U of MN) but it really is accurate.
Lots of pie– thanks for sharing with me, and for linking me over in your space.
Kyle
June 26, 2010 at 6:15 am
Links are love
I might expand on this a bit with reference to the reaction I got when I had to deal with TSA while packing earlier this year. Some of the trans guys gave me the hardest time.
ceo
May 2, 2011 at 10:55 pm
well put!