my bizarre social disorder

i don’t know if this has a name, but i have self-diagnosed myself with a social disorder.  i’m an extravert, according to my official MBTI report and this means

Extraversion (E)
I like getting my energy from active involvement in events and having a lot of different activities. I’m excited when I’m around people and I like to energize other people. I like moving into action and making things happen. I generally feel at home in the world. I often understand a problem better when I can talk out loud about it and hear what others have to say.

The following statements generally apply to me:

• I am seen as “outgoing” or as a “people person.”
• I feel comfortable in groups and like working in them.
• I have a wide range of friends and know lots of people.
• I sometimes jump too quickly into an activity and don’t allow enough time to think it over.
• Before I start a project, I sometimes forget to stop and get clear on what I want to do and why.

these things are pretty true about me. my disorder part is that i will hole up, then finally i try to be more social, then i get so addicted feeling on the social feelings and goodness that i feel really bummed and weird when there’s no one around to hang out with.

this is kind of insane.  it’s a weird loop and it’s annoying and i don’t like it.  last night i was social and today i was social and now i’m tired and need to be alone at home doing chores and getting homework done because this new Halberstam book isn’t gonna read itself, and i just want to be out in the world hanging out.  and my partner lives 500 miles away and i live in a conservative city with no queer scene and even if i didn’t have 500 other things to do, i don’t know what I’d do or where i’d go.

Advertisement