So this post is really just two facebook status updates.

The first person I ever came out to was Kate Williams. We were in my car, driving from Roger Bacon to Perkins and listening to Liz Phair. And I admitted that I’d been singing “i want a girlfriend” instead of “i want a boyfriend” to the song Fuck and Run.

It was either late fall 1994 or spring 1995. And I didn’t come out to anyone else until I came out to

The first person I ever came out to was Kate Williams. We were in my car, driving from Roger Bacon to Perkins and listening to Liz Phair. And I admitted that I’d been singing “i want a girlfriend” instead of “i want a boyfriend” to the song Fuck and Run.

It was either late fall 1994 or spring 1995. And I didn’t come out to anyone else until I came out to Rob , Carter , and Mason at OU in the Fall of 1995. And then slowly I told some other folks, like Linda and Jason.

Since those first words about my sexuality so long ago, I have wrestled a great number of demons about it. I married a man, and I hope that he’s forgiven me–i don’t know because we don’t talk.

But what I do know is that never did I imagine that gay marriage was a possibility. Never did I imagine that I would have the CHOICE about getting married, and that’s what this is about now. Whether I think marriage is awesome or crap, what matters is that I’m a citizen and I deserve the full rights & privileges that other citizens have. I deserve to choose whether or not I want to marry my partner.

My mom posted something about being an ally (which I truly appreciate because it was a long road to this place where she’s cool w/ me being a homo) and then her cousin posted an ignorant comment.

So I posted this reply to her:

“I should have equal rights as a citizen of the United States of America. Anyone’s religious beliefs are not my concern because I believe in the separation of church & state. As a citizen, I deserve to be allowed to marry my female partner if I choose, and because I’m not allowed to, I’m denied about 1100 federal rights that my parents, you and your husband, and other married couples have access to. (Not to mention about 500 rights at the state level.)

Those rights are mostly financial, related to taxes, social security, death benefits, estate taxes, taxation of benefits, but also include things like Family & Medical Leave Act time, bereavement time, immigration, benefits for the spouses of federal employees, and health insurance coverage.

Everything I was taught in my Catholic education at Our Lady of the Rosary & Roger Bacon High School about Jesus focused on the concept that He is Love, and while I no longer participate in a church community anymore, I think that people who hide behind any argument about religion or the Bible are doing nothing but hiding.

If you hate gay people, think we’re gross or sad or whatever–that’s fine. Have the chutzpah to just say so– but don’t hide behind a religion whose main tenet is love.”