Category Archives: Uncategorized

Your Scores

11 Acts of Service
7 Quality Time
7 Receiving Gifts
3 Physical Touch
2 Words of Affirmation

 

apology languages

8 Expressing Regret
4 Make Restitution
3 Accept Responsibility
3 Genuinely Repent
2 Request Forgiveness

 

anger assessment

Action Steps

  1. You would benefit from better understanding the distinction between good anger and bad anger. Definitive (or “good”) anger, as Dr. Chapman describes it, is a normal response to genuine wrongdoing, injustice, or mistreatment. Distorted (or “bad”) anger, on the other hand, is our response to others when we have incorrectly perceived a construed wrongdoing, injustice, or mistreatment. We don’t have all the facts correct in distorted anger. Learn some other key differences between the two responses in chapter four of this book.
  2. Some people look like they have it all together on the outside and rarely appear out of control due to anger, while underneath the façade they tend to simmer with unexamined anger. This “implosive” anger can be characterized by brooding or withdrawal, among other expressions. Dr. Chapman identifies key strategies to deal with implosive anger in chapter six of his book.

i got two great books for Hanukkah from my wife* and i purchased two more for myself, so I’m pretty stoked.  i used to keep track of the books i read, and i would like to start doing that again. so here we go. my plan is probably to keep editing this post.

 

*wife: yes, we got hitched on 12/5/16. 🙂


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1328045193-feminist_kill_joy

That is not my banner, and it’s not my desk…but I want one.

It’s time for a brain dump.  My brain is working overtime, being angry about the shitty shit going on in the world, and I just gotta bitch about some stuff.

TRIGGER WARNING: rape, child abuse, child labor, rape apologists, explicit language about rape

Daniel Tosh/Rape 

All of the things I’d want to say have been said better by different people, and in different ways, but the things that made me think the most were:

Cristy

Guante

Lindy West

Curtis Luciani 

And it’s intense, but some of these ideas conflict each other, but I still appreciate some of the things that they each have to say.  And lastly, be warned for violent, graphic depiction of rape, The Onion.

Penn State/Sandusky/Paterno

I work in higher education.  For awhile, I was pretty obsessed with consuming media about this case, and finally I had to take a break.  I only read one NYT article when the verdict came out about Sandusky, but I have to admit I’ve been reading some of the articles today about the Freeh report.

This particularly amazes me: Nike Taking Paterno’s Name Off Child Care Center

I have to ask– since when does Nike give a shit about kids?  When you google “Nike child labor” you get about 617,000 results (0.24 seconds).  

Also, damn.  Heartbreaking: “The most powerful officials at Penn State actively worked to cover up Jerry Sandusky’s sexual abuse and rape of children, failing to protect them against a sexual predator for more than a decade, according to an internal investigation released Thursday.” – HuffPo

Smarter, more eloquent people than me are going to make points about Higher Ed and the questions this should be making us ask ourselves, but I’ll go ahead and say that I actually WEPT TEARS when I realized that RAPE CULTURE means that this could have happened at my beloved institutions.  We are not that different from PSU.

Radical Feminists Hating on Trans People

Shut the fuck up, now.  Just shut the fuck up.  You make me embarrassed to identify as a feminist, so shut the fuck up.  And telling you to shut the fuck up is silencing, yeah, I realize that.  But you’re really out of control.


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I have a rape fantasy.

You know what happens in it?  Everyone on Earth who has ever raped someone realizes what they’ve done, and they turn themselves in to a review board that works with them to create restorative justice.